Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Real World: Random Monologue

What are you supposed to do when your heart breaks every time you see his face?

What are you supposed to do when you know what could have been, when every time you think of him, those thoughts bring the dreaded "what if?"

What if you acted on those feelings, what if the circumstances were different? What if what you felt was real, and what if he felt it, too? What if you threw away something grander than imagination, and what if you can never get it back?

What are you supposed to do when you finally decide you loved him, but you can't ever know if he loved you back?

What are you supposed to do when the words he spoke to you are now only letters on a page, intangible, unattainable -- just like him?

What are you supposed to do when you can't stop thinking about him, when you think about good-byes and could-haves and can't think of anything else?

And what are you supposed to do when you know there's a chance you might see him again?

Friday, May 21, 2010

The Real World: Chick Flicks

I've always hated chick flicks with abandon. Anyone who knows me is definitely aware of this. If it's not Disney, or if something doesn't blow up, I don't want to see it. I've always maintained that I hate chick flicks because they're so predictable.

This is only partially true.

I can't stand chick flicks because I'm a hopeless romantic. I believe in true love. I believe in love at first sight, at being swept away and carried off into the sunset by a knight in shining armor. I believe in fairy tales and the power of dreams. And chick flicks are all about that; I should love it, right?


As a hopeless romantic, I believe in all these things. But this presents a problem: I'm in love with being in love. I want nothing more than to be intoxicated by a love eternal, to find the perfect man and live out my own little chick flick with the "I do" at the end. But the real world isn't like that. The real world has me home, working all summer, and very much single.

Besides, my life IS a chick flick as it is. Every relationship I've ever had is like a bad chick flick; I just keep going through the "guy before" part of the movie -- I haven't found HIM. I come home from chick flicks going: "I want one!"

I'm not saying I want to get married in the next year or anything; I just can't handle chick flicks until I do, because I'm in love with true love.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The Real World: Childlike Swimming

Yesterday, I went swimming with my neighbor and my cousins. It was the first time (besides the pool at the hotel, but that doesn't really count) going to the pool for the summer, and it was a blast.

While there, though, I noticed how innocent we are when we go swimming. It's the simplest thing ever, and the games we play at the pool are just as simple.

We spent almost an hour playing a game where you had to guess a movie title and swim across the pool, being the first one to touch the "it" person's hand before you could win. I felt like a little kid again.

(Until I saw my phone had four missed calls. My mom had been trying to get a hold of me cuz my work called. I tried to call them back today, but the lady in charge of my project wasn't there today. I hope I'm not supposed to start tomorrow. This is a problem...)

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

My Books' Worlds: Dear Characters...Again...

Dearest characters of Secrets We Keep,

It's absolutely infuriating that you've done everything I asked because I'm still in shock. Nicholas, everything you've done makes total sense for your character, but I'm still so surprised that you did it that I don't know what to say anymore. Vera, same goes for you.

Riley, you're finally being cool again. What's up with this? And Johan, you're the only one who's done anything surprising in the sense that I didn't plan it, but it works so well I'm not complaining.

Where is the fighting with my characters? I'm getting writer's block out of pure shock that you're all cooperating!!


The Author

Dearest characters of Birthright Unknown,

You, on the other hand, are giving me a headache.

I know exactly what I want you to do. We're just rewriting the story, and the plot is exactly the way it's supposed to be going. It should be easy sailing from here. I gave Diadi a bigger part in the beginning, and I'm keeping you at Gunte's place for longer than I originally planned, but besides that, it's essentially the same.

I don't see what's so difficult about this! Let me write, gosh darn it!


The Author

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

My Books' Worlds: Too Much Cooperation

On the plus side, my characters have never been this nice to me before...

Anyway, I've just been absolutely flooded with good ideas for basically anything and everything that I'm writing, and I've taken to carrying around my laptop with three different windows pulled up at once because I'm working on three different books at the same time.

There's Elaine's book, which I'm tentatively calling Elaine and the NYC Underground as the first book in an apparently very cute series that Elaine keeps assuring me will be amazing, even though all I've got so far is four characters and a basic idea of a magical underground.... But, surprisingly, I'm almost done with the second chapter, which is probably the fastest I've ever written a first chapter (with the exception of Secrets We Keep in which I wrote the first two chapters in the middle of the night after a random spurt of inspiration.) I absolutely adore Elaine, and now, there's a brilliant little redhead named Erin who apparently wants to be a love interest for the main character, Michael. Yeah, I don't know why, either....

Then, there's Birthright Unknown, which, apparently, is going to be much longer than I had originally thought. It's practically writing itself, but then again, it's still in the beginning stages where I'm setting things up, so it might, presumably, go faster just because it's information I've always known when I came up with this world in the first place. I haven't quite finished the second chapter, because I don't know what to expect when it comes to this book. The beginning is all mixed up; I didn't introduce the war until the first chapter, while in the first draft, I introduced it in the prologue. Diadi is still around, while in the first draft, she was only in the prologue. And I haven't even gotten to my favorite line yet,while it was in the first page of the first chapter in my first draft. :(

And last, but definitely not least, there's Secrets We Keep. I have finally reached the first climax, and I've got everything set up to where Nicholas wants to tear Vera's head off, Riley's off on her own little secret mission, and Adnare's just generally ticked at everyone. Things are finally falling into place, but the others books are falling into place, too, and it's hard to keep all these falling things balanced.

Alright, somebody please hit writer's block!

(I never thought I'd see the day when I actually asked for that...)

Sunday, May 2, 2010

The Real World: Big Sister Time

Wow, what a Saturday. :)

I love my baby sister absolutely to pieces, and I got to spend all day with her yesterday. It was a blast, because we went shopping for most of the day, and we got all sorts of stuff.

My mom left me with a list of things that she needed, and I just needed pants in general (since it seems my pants are magically too big for me . . . something about walking everywhere because I don't have a car in college?) So, we went to a bunch of stores looking for stuff.

Shopping with eight-year-olds is a blast! We found a bunch of stuff for me -- I'm almost stocked on pants, but I need a lot more jeans, since I've only found one good pair so far -- but Emily was impossible! She has these gorgeous long legs that are going to make teenage guys sweat when she grows up, but she's only eight, so all they do right now is make it hard to buy pants for her. She has the legs for a size eight but the waist for size seven. Impossible!

But we finally got her some jeans, and then we went shoe shopping. What a blast!

Then, I took her out to dinner, and we played the arcade games at CiCis. She absolutely loved that place, and she was amazed by everything that they had! (I would be like "Try the pizza!" She'd take a bite and declare it was the best pizza ever! She did that for basically everything she tried; it was hilarious.)

I love being a big sister. :)